The Noise of Nature

Some days my head is noisy. Like an overcrowded, disorganized junk drawer that won’t shut, some days my brain is a mess. There are random coins at the bottom and lint balls; pens that don’t work and an old wooden ruler. 

“What was I even looking for in here?”, frustrated I ask myself.

My head is a choppy buffet of he said/she said - people’s voices in my head - with lots of “should’s” and “they say’s”. It’s not logical or happy talk. And it’s definitely not helpful. 

That’s when I look out my window and feel the call of the mountains. 

Shhhhhhhhhhh.

The aspen, the pines, the creeks, and the paths . . . shhhhhhhhh.

I know my soul needs that noise, that quiet. It’s a hush - a medicine. That hush heals my busy brain. 

So I grab my gloves and my beanie, hug my jacket and my poles and back out my driveway. I’ll be a different woman when I return. 

Approaching the canyon, the traffic lessens with more space between each vehicle. The rocks stand like the walls of water as Moses crossed the Red Sea. The serpentine road winds through the trees. 

I pass the campsites and the firepits. I pass the cinder block bathrooms. I pass the paved walkways. I go higher and deeper into the trees and park.

As I open my truck door, my heart is pounding. I’m so ready. Entranced, I follow the steps of the hikers before me. I’m hypnotized. 

Shhhhhhhhh. 

The aspen, the pines, the creeks, and the paths . . . shhhhhhhhh. 

There is my sanctuary. It is a place of surrender and rebirth. It is the dying to myself and the laying down of my plans. It is the witnessing of greatness and order of a Creator larger than life itself. This sanctuary is the place where I find my best self. 

I walk until the yarn of my soul is wound back up and put away in the basket. Following the trail of breadcrumbs back to my divine calling, I step left foot-right foot until I stagger from healthy fatigue. Joy is spending myself here. 

On the drive home I still hum the noise of nature. Shhhhhhhhh. 

I open the drawer again - the drawer where earlier I found random change and ballpoint pens that no longer worked. 

It opens smoothly. Everything is in the right place. Categorized. Tidy. Matching pens all in order. No lint. No coins. 

We go to nature when we are a mess. The beauty is that we return from nature, whole. 

Shhhhhhhh.  

The noise of nature.